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Speaking Up Assertively

Seventh graders learn that assertive communication sits between staying silent and steamrolling others, letting them state needs clearly and respectfully, and match each key term to its meaning.

Grade 7CASEL: Relationship Skills45 minutes1 class periodCASELExplicit teaching4 StandardsCASEL
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Lesson at a Glance

Everything you need before the bell rings

Learning Objectives

Students will be able to…

  • ✓Tell passive, aggressive, assertive apart.
  • ✓Use an I-statement.
  • ✓Stand up with respect.
  • ✓Match each term.
Essential Question

A friend keeps borrowing your things without asking. You could say nothing, snap, or calmly ask them to check first. How do you speak up clearly without starting a fight?

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Lesson Phases
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Vocabulary Terms
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Standards Aligned
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Interactive Task
Match the Term · Interactive

Match the Term

Project this and match each communication term to its meaning — tap a term, then tap what it means.

🗣️ Match each communication term to its meaningTry it
Term
What it means
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The Lesson · SEL Flow (Check-In · Learn · Practice · Apply · Reflect)

45 minutes, five moves

Tap any phase to open the teacher moves and student actions.

1

Hook — Three Ways to Say It

5 min

A friend keeps borrowing your things without asking. You could say nothing, snap at them, or calmly ask them to check first. Which one speaks up without starting a fight?

👩‍🏫 Teacher Moves

  • Act out the three reactions.
  • Ask which works best.
  • Set the goal.

🎒 Student Actions

  • Watch.
  • Share.
  • Get ready.
2

Use — Match the Term

12 min

Students match each communication term to its meaning.

👩‍🏫 Teacher Moves

  • Send students to Match the Term.
  • Match each pair.
  • Note the meaning.

🎒 Student Actions

  • Match.
  • Say.
  • Note it.
3

Modify — Make It Assertive

13 min

Students rewrite a message assertively.

👩‍🏫 Teacher Moves

  • Read a passive or aggressive line.
  • Rewrite it as an I-statement.
  • Say it calmly.

🎒 Student Actions

  • Read.
  • Rewrite.
  • Say.
4

Create — My Assertive Scripts

15 min

Students write assertive scripts.

👩‍🏫 Teacher Moves

  • Pick two real situations.
  • Write an assertive line for each.
  • Add calm body language to use.

🎒 Student Actions

  • Pick.
  • Write.
  • Add.
5

Reflect — Clear and Respectful

5 min

Students reflect on assertiveness.

👩‍🏫 Teacher Moves

  • How is assertive different from aggressive?
  • What is an I-statement?
  • Complete the exit ticket.

🎒 Student Actions

  • Say it.
  • Say it.
  • Complete the exit ticket.
Standards Alignment

Built to the standards you report on

Aligned to the CASEL Framework for Social and Emotional Learning across its five core competencies.

CASEL
Relationship Skills

Communicate needs and feelings clearly and respectfully.

CASEL
Relationship Skills

Distinguish passive, aggressive, and assertive communication.

CASEL
Self-Management

Stay calm and steady while standing up for yourself.

CASEL
Social Awareness

Respect others' feelings while expressing your own.

Differentiation

One lesson, every learner

Multilingual Learners

ELL / EMERGING READERS
  • Term + meaning cards.
  • Sentence frame: “___ means ___ .”
  • Match one pair at a time.

Support & Access

IEP / 504
  • Start with passive and assertive.
  • Act out each style together.
  • Match one term fully before the next.

Stretch & Extend

GIFTED / EARLY FINISHERS
  • Rewrite three lines from aggressive to assertive.
  • Add tone and body language to each.
  • Role-play an assertive boundary with a partner.
Materials

What to gather

  • 📽️Projector / board
  • 🗣️Term + meaning cards
  • 💻Match the Term
  • 📝I-statement frames
  • ✏️Pencils
  • 🎫Exit-ticket slips
Vocabulary

Key terms — hover for a quick definition

assertivestating your needs clearly and calmly, with respectpassivestaying silent or giving in, even when it bothers youaggressivegetting your way by blaming, yelling, or putting others downI-statementsaying how you feel and what you need without blamingrespecttreating others, and yourself, as worthy of carebody languagethe messages you send with voice, face, and postureboundarya limit you set on how others may treat yourelationship skillsgetting along with and connecting to other people
Evaluate

Exit Ticket

Preview the three formative checks. Tap “Sample answer” to see what mastery looks like — hide them before you print for students.

QUESTION 1
How is assertive communication different from aggressive?
Assertive states your needs calmly and respectfully; aggressive tries to win by blaming, yelling, or putting others down.
QUESTION 2
What is an I-statement, and why use one?
A way to say how you feel and what you need (“I feel... when... I would like...”); it speaks up without blaming, so the other person can hear you.
QUESTION 3
What does passive communication look like?
Staying silent or giving in even when something bothers you, instead of saying what you need.

Create: my assertive scripts.

Have students pick two real situations, write an assertive I-statement for each, and add the calm body language to use, so speaking up feels ready to practice. A printable assertive-communication worksheet is in the Social-Emotional Learning library.

Study · Flashcards

Study the key terms

Tap a card to flip it, then rate whether you knew it. Built from this lesson’s vocabulary.

🃏 Relationship Skills: Speaking Up AssertivelyFlip
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Term
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Meaning
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Practice · Quiz

Check your understanding

A quick self-check with instant feedback, drawn from this lesson’s key terms.

📝 Relationship Skills: Speaking Up AssertivelyQuiz
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Question 1
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Practice · Worksheet

Printable worksheet

A print-and-go review sheet with a built-in answer key. Tap “Show answer key” to reveal answers, or print the clean version for students.

🖨️ Relationship Skills: Speaking Up AssertivelyPrint
Name: ________________________
Date: ____________

Part A · Write the word that matches each meaning

Word bank: aggressive, assertive, body language, boundary, I-statement, passive, relationship skills, respect
  1. saying how you feel and what you need without blaming
  2. treating others, and yourself, as worthy of care
  3. a limit you set on how others may treat you
  4. getting along with and connecting to other people
  5. getting your way by blaming, yelling, or putting others down
  6. the messages you send with voice, face, and posture
  7. stating your needs clearly and calmly, with respect
  8. staying silent or giving in, even when it bothers you

Part B · Show what you learned

  1. How is assertive communication different from aggressive?
  2. What is an I-statement, and why use one?
  3. What does passive communication look like?
Answer key — Part A: 1) I-statement · 2) respect · 3) boundary · 4) relationship skills · 5) aggressive · 6) body language · 7) assertive · 8) passive
Part B: 1) Assertive states your needs calmly and respectfully; aggressive tries to win by blaming, yelling, or putting others down. 2) A way to say how you feel and what you need (“I feel... when... I would like...”); it speaks up without blaming, so the other person can hear you. 3) Staying silent or giving in even when something bothers you, instead of saying what you need.